I don’t always let it show or even let myself feel it, but it’s always there, this new form you’ve taken for me, half positive driving me forwards and helping me strive to be a better person, and half negative threatening to drown and overwhelm me. Today the latter seems to be in full control, which I guess is to be expected, but anticipating it and living it is not the same. I wish I didn’t have to feel this way, I’d gladly trade all the positive changes I’ve been through to have you back. It’s not possible though and I’ve had to accept that, I just hope that if we ever meet again that I’ll have become a person you can be proud of, until then I just hope you’re somewhere out there, one with the wind or basking in the warmth somehow. I miss you, never forget that... x